After an earlier post of ours, “So Suh Us“, someone decided to take us at our word. Our own brand of idiocy has landed us in hot water with one magazine in particular (let’s call them Potpourri) with editor S. Clown leading the charge. I would name drop them specfically here but who knows what those crazy bastards would do. It’s a shame, really, because I’m actually quite proud that such a well known publication took the time to out-douche itself by scouring the internet to threaten a blog run by a bunch of drunken lemurs. I suppose they needed something to do between figuring out just how big Kim Kardashian’s ass has grown.

You can see the article minus the flavor text of the named magazine here. While it hasn’t lost much bite, I did hate to retract an article from a website that has so much integrity to keep. If this trends, we might be the first assholes to ever be kicked off the internet.

Great, now Fox is going to sue us.

As for the cease & desist, I’m tempted to post that directly here as well, but again, I don’t know the legal ramifications of it. I could fight the good fight for free speech, with time and money getting sucked into a bottomless fry-hole, or I could hit backspace a bunch and entertain the three of you who do read for a little while longer.

What I will post is my response (minus any identifying info) to their lawyer, whom I honestly hold no ill-will towards, if you can believe it. It’s not like it’s his fault his clients are jackasses. Homey’s just trying to pay the mortgage. You know, the one in his giant home in which he houses many, many beautiful women he sleeps with and never calls again. Ok, now I hate him a little. Anyway, with no other redactions, my response:

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Mr. F [ed note #1: not his real name],

I assure you this blog is pure parody. We tend to be pretty absurdist with our humor (see “Gorilla Warfare” where I lay out plans to start an army of monkeys) and we naturally assumed that, to the very, very few people who actually read it, that we’re certainly not serious about anything.

That said, we have a blog that maxes out at about 50 people a day and so can’t afford to fight anything like this. You’ve earned more money in the time it took typing out our email address than we’ve made over the 2+ years we’ve had our site up.

We’ve removed the paragraph from the offending article laid out in the C&D. I hope this clears up the matter. If there is anything in the article left that I have not addressed, I assure you it’s out of ignorance [ed note #2: I would've gone into detail here, but I didn't want to beat a dead horse. Apparently, stupidity is blind to other stupidity]. A simple email explaining anything further we can do will suffice and we’ll be happy to oblige.

If you would like to contact me directly, I can be reached at 1-800-AWE-SOME [ed note #3: I wish].

Thanks for reading!
Will Gallego

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We’ve managed to assemble our own crack team of legal minds to keep on retainer for any and all future disputes. Should you require their assistance as well, I’m sure you can find them through the appropriate channels.

This entry was posted on Friday, May 28th, 2010 at 9:11 am and is filed under headlines. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.