As we’re degenerate gamblers forced to work off our debts while hustling rounds of “Blades of Steel” in underground NES casinos (the only time anyone ever enjoys hockey outside of NHL ’94), you can say we know our gaming inside and out. Today being the Super Bowl, we’re obliged to throw away our hard earned blog money faster than Tony Romo going through a box of Kleenex during a Designing Women marathon on Lifetime. Vegas’s lines are all too pedantic for our tastes, though, so we decided to spice things up a bit with some of our own. If you care to follow along, here now are ours, namely odds that…
The last place The Who rocked was a chair.
…religious zealots jump the Colts running out of their locker room as they completely misunderstand comments made about “attacking the Saints” in Miami: 4-1.
…said zealots get crushed by the Indy defensive line: 1-450
…the collective willpower of several million football fans focus their hatred of Joe Buck to the point that his head explodes: 7-1
…we see a Sony commercial where Timberlake rips off the chest piece from Peyton Manning’s uniform: 15-1
…everyone in the city of New Orleans gets so drunk they all pass out before Brees can throw his first pass: 1:1
…Peyton Manning appears in more commercials than throws TD passes: 2-1
…Khole or Kourtney Kardashian (the lesser skanks, not Kim), are shown on camera and mistakenly identified as Reggie Bush’s girlfriend: 6-1
…you’re tempted to switch to light beer based on the hilarity of an ad for it: 1,000:1
…Eli convulses in a fit of jealous rage as he makes the “I’m going to choke Peyton harder than the Giants choked this season” face: 10-1
…The Who, to honor New Orleans, will perform at halftime as “The Who Dat?”: 200:1
…Carrie Underwood ends the national anthem with “and the home of the brave — and that two-timing bastard, Tony Romo.”: 300:1
…David Caruso flips off his sunglasses more times than we flip off our TV’s after listening to innumerable commercials for CBS’s CSI: Miami as the host city for the Super Bowl: 13-1
…we see a commercial starring Brett Favre in a commercial for IHOP describing his love for “waffles” during the Senior early bird 5am special: 4-1
