I originally had a post I’ve been working on for the last week and a half, one I’d been really excited to finally put together, as it’s been rattling in the back of my head for a while. A post that had magic mixture of stupidity and insightfulness that some of my better posts have. Struck my funny bone, rang true in a few places, that sorta thing. Frankly, it was about being a douche. Popular ones, anyway.

Then, Kanye out-douched everyone in the world Sunday night (which, after Joe Wilson and Serena Williams is pretty tough). Well, fuck, that’s all everyone’s going to be talking about this week. I’ve seen 5 different “Excuse me one sec, I’ll let you finish but..” memes around the web today alone and I’m already sick of it. Plus, Marc did a better job yesterday than I could have.

Thankfully, I have my nerdiness to fall back on. Scribblenauts came out Tuesday, a DS game where you can create objects with a notepad to help you solve puzzles (minus offensive and copyrighted words). So, if I want Genghis Khan to attack a dolphin, so be it. Smartest sea mammal my ass.

I decided to jot down some of the words I played around with in game.

It’s like a Rorschach test for nerds.

“Homer”
Knew it wouldn’t work, but still. Suggested “Hoe Rammer”, which isn’t nearly what I was hoping for.

“Blob”, “Cyclops”, “Dracula”
They keep killing me. Damn, monsters are assholes. Summoned Cthulhu, fucked everyone up.

“Centaur”
Rode it around for a while. Centaur was a dude. Am I gay now? I just felt so safe in his arms…

“Mermaid”
Do something damnit! Make out with her, “ride” her around, something! Nope, guess I’m gay, the video game proved it.

“Robot”
He’s not making his own lunar lander. With blackjack! And hookers! In fact, forget the lunar lander/blackjack.Eh, screw the whole thing. Robots are fucking bullshit.

“Zombie”
This should’ve been first on my list. Hm, ok, next, “shotgun”. Shit, this ain’t working on the zombie…Ahh, he’s chewing on my head! Uh…”flamethrower”! Son of a bitch didn’t like that.

“Robot Zombie”
Holy shit, that worked! Robot then kicked his ass. Think I need to invest in robotics to secure our nation’s future.

“Eagle, Giant”
Giant immediately punches the Eagle to death. You see that Marc? Even in an imaginary world, the Eagles can’t win.

“Titmouse, booby, woodpecker”
teeheeheehee

“Taco”
This one’s courtesy of Emily. If ever given the choice of a super power, I’m pretty sure conjuring up tacos at will would be up there. That or God-like omnipotence, but using said omnipotence to procure tacos, so, yeah.

“Atheist, God”
Ha, the atheist freaked out after seeing God, ran in the other direction. So I gave him a gun. Atheist tried to kill God, so the big guy zapped him with lightning. Take that, evolution!

“Death”
Oh crap, Death just killed God. Guess the Atheist WAS right. So much for Catholic school. Save me Jeebus!

“Dingo, baby”
Wow, that dingo is going to town on those toddlers. Ok, had enough fun with these, tossing them in the trash. (Slight twinge of regret as I realized I just threw a baby in the garbage. I wasn’t ready to be a dad!)

Lemme know if you’ve got some more suggestions of crazy shit I should try.

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