We’d sure hate to be behind Brett Favre at a bank, grocery store, concessions stand or even a urinal (playing poker or chess with him would be entirely out of the question). The man can’t seem to make up his mind (except about the look and comfort of Wrangler jeans). Sure, the man can throw picks, but he can’t seem to pick whether or not to play football, a decision he drags out as if it’s monumental (that Congress hasn’t held a hearing or formed a sub-committee on what he should do is a bit surprising).  A few weeks after deciding not to join the Vikings, he of course signed a contract to suit up for them (hope the team put in a “no take-backs” clause). In his head, the “NFL” stands for ‘Needs Favre League.’ To prepare for his return, we’ve revised an old children’s song, “The Cat Came Back” (since the only thing more annoying than reading another Favre article is having a repetitive kid’s tune stuck in your head).

Old Brett Favre had troubles of his own

He wanted to play football, not stay at home

He tried and tried to make his feelings go away

Instead, he went from Mississippi to Minnesota, far away.

The quarterback came back, but not to Green Bay

The quarterback came back, we thought he was retired

But the quarterback came back; he just couldn’t stay away

Favre thinks retire is something you do when the treads on your trucks wheels wear out.

The pro team around the corner swore they’d sack him on sight

They loaded up the tackle box and tried with all their might

They rushed and crushed the passer into the ground

But that old quarterback just wouldn’t stay down.

The quarterback came back, but not to Green Bay

The quarterback came back, we thought he was retired

But the quarterback came back; he just couldn’t stay away.

In New York, “Broadway Brett” lasted just one season

A league-worst 22 interceptions seemed a good reason

How the year concluded wasn’t to his liking

So he eventually signed up to be a Viking.

The quarterback came back, but not to Green Bay

The quarterback came back; he just couldn’t stay away

It’s true, the quarterback came back, the one who said he was retired

The quarterback came back, the one who used to be admired

Yes, the quarterback came back, for another chance to be a champ

The quarterback came back, and he didn’t even have to attend training camp!

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