Last night President Obama invited Sgt. Crowley and Henry Louis Gates, Jr. to the White House to have a beer and discuss racism in America, the “beer summit”. Coming from a Southern school, getting a good ol’ boy liquored up to have a pow wow on racial equality never seemed like a great idea, kinda like hosting a meeting for sexual addicts at a strip club.
Still, they’re making the efforts to heal some wounds, unite the country, all that good stuff. Maybe some drinking games could help. Inspired by this spirit of this event, I came up with a few ideas to get the party started, cause if you’re going to throw a few back, you might as well do it right.
Stoner fest ’09 next week will try to bring peace to the Middle East
1) Facepalm – Everyone takes turns trying to carry on a conversation with Joe Biden. Every time he says something stupid and you reflexively smack yourself in the head (aka the facepalm), you take a drink. Case races usually are more kind, as the game ends with the first concussion.
2) Asshole – Keep aside the fact that Obama is, literally, the president. A game of White House asshole involves watching an episode of The O’Reilly Factor (not the aforementioned asshole, though a good guess). There are no stringent rules per se, you’ll just need to drink a ton of beer to get through the show.
3) Never have I ever – First question: “Never have I ever faked a Hawaiian birth certificate so I could become President.” Come on, Obama, drink up. No? Worth a shot.
4) Prank Callin’ Cheney – Everyone takes a turn trying to send Cheney to the hospital. Heart attack, give out 1 drink to everyone, stroke 2 drinks. Typical buttons include legalizing same sex marriage and criminalizing impersonation of “The Penguin”.
5) Poor pong – Similar to the well known and beloved “beer pong”, Poor pong is an over-sized version of such, where each team takes turns flinging the homeless into large cauldrons of hot oil via catapult. Congress better get a move on that health care plan.
July 31st, 2009 at 2:48 pm
Obama has added a key ingredient that has been missing from race relations for years: beer. If Lincoln had managed to get the South properly soused, he could’ve conned them into setting slaves free (not to mention drawn a penis on Mississippi), thus avoiding the whole Civil War.
Of course, it could turn out that Gates asks for a dark beer and Crowley a pale ale and nothing gets resolved.