Kutcher has enough followers to be a Demi-god.
Recently, Ashton Kutcher punk’d CNN, pulling off a feat Fox News has been hoping to accomplish for years, by beating the network in a race to net 1 million fans on Twitter. His victorious message to the masses: I just made Wolf Blitzer my bitch! LMAO!! Here are some ways his cockiness following the win is coming through:
Filming the long-awaited sequel, “Dude, Where’s My Private Plane?” (Tagline: When stoners strike it rich, they fly high!)
The latest Nikon camera he endorses digitally inserts him into all the photos the user takes.
Will ask Julianne Moore to join his newly formed Moore concubine. Also invited: Roger Moore (hey, when in Iowa…) and Michael Moore (because he’ll need someone to film the orgies).
Has told Bruce Willis what he really thinks of “Live Free or Die Hard.”
Bought the rights to cartoon character Tweety Bird, championing his tweeting supremacy (Yes we can-ary).
Hired pro hoopster and look-alike Kyle Korver to play in pickup games of basketball for him.


You must be logged in to post a comment.