Sorry I’ve been MIA for a bit. Unlike the rapper MIA, I was not giving birth (except to brilliant ideas). I did, however, suffer a deep bruise from frequently patting myself on the back over our 100th post. Again, thank you anonymous interneters for all your support. And by “support” I mean “total apathy, with a few death threats mixed in to keep us honest.” There’s nothing like the sound of no hands clapping.
I must state that longevity on the web, much like a David Lynch film, is incomprehensible and ultimately meaningless. If you think reaching this benchmark will translate into a higher quality of posts, I’ll say the same thing to you that I do to my dates upon disrobing: prepare to be disappointed. Like the ski instructor said to Natasha Richardson, it’s all downhill from here. No need to question if that despicable joke was “too soon.” Yes, it was. I slalomly swear not make another crack at her expense. Insensitive remarks can be slippery slope… damn. So much for that promise.
As we’ve all been told before, the future is uncertain, whether it is in regards to the economy or this website, both of which people pray won’t sink any lower. As IQ tests will confirm, I know very little, but as we move forward, there is one thing I am certain of: Liam Neeson, who it must be pointed out starred in a flick with the subtitle “The Widowmaker,” having his dear wife “Taken” from him tragically, will not make a follow-up to his recent box office triumph. That does not mean the movie will not be made. Jason Statham will fill the role (after all, he’s proven he can “Crank” out sequels). We must find happiness in the little things. I, for one, look forward to “Taken 2: The Takening (Tagline: When they snatch his step-cousin, it all becomes relative).”
