Proof that we are both an immensely forgiving and stupid society, and because there wasn’t already an excess of late night talk shows, Snoop Dogg has entered the bizznizess with “Dogg After Dark.” In a crowded market, he’s going to need use his one skill to set him apart. No, not smoking cannabis. Rapping. CA has penned an intro that could hook viewers from the get-go.
With all the competition, this Dogg could take a pounding
Yo, this ain’t Nightline
I write tight rhymes
Turn off Billy Mays
And prepare for purple haze
It’s the g-pimp Snoop
Giving you the inside scoop
I’m a better man
Than David Letterman
Should you watch Leno?
Two words: Hell no!
Just give me a chance
Unlike Conan, I can dance
Daly’s Last Call
Is headed for a fall
Why watch Craig Ferguson, a Scot
When I drop it like it’s hot?
I’ll whoop the behind
of that dude who was with Ben Stein
And that SNL guy
Ain’t funny even when I’m high
So choose me at night
I’m the only one who’s not white.
Notes from Snoop: I left off Spike Feresten because I didn’t know he was real. I thought he was another one of Eminem’s personalities. I’m also considering a blast-from-MTV’s-past as my sidekick, Tom Green. He’ll have to do every show stoned, including one about growing plants, as Tom Greenthumb, and one in drag as a forgetful character named Mary Jane. If he’s not available, I’ll either pick with Arsenio Hall or my accountant, Mort Fleishman. Wait, it’s no contest; I’ll go with Mort. Then we can do a segment called “Gin and Jews.” That’ll keep me from being cancizzled… or is it cizzanceled?
