I’m pretty sure my writing talents are comparable to a prehistoric chimp clutching a pencil between its butt cheeks, given my measly attempts on a blog to procure humor from general nerderies and whatnot. Then I read headlines like this in the Financial Times:

It even starts out “Barack Obama is grappling with his first full-throated political crisis…”. Rather than see someone out-garbage me, especially in print as opposed to a blog no one reads, I decided to try my hand at writing a better headline:

• Obama sucks the big one as Daschle goes flaccid
• Given heed, HHS nomination comes up short
• Amid finger wagging, probing, cabinet nomination purged
• Daschle confirmation premature, aborted before delivery
• President left with sticky situation on hands with Daschle’s mess
• Obama dumps, flushes Daschle
• Left unsatisfied, Congress wants more from their men
• Choking on a hard one, Obama gags
• First crack in Obama administration is licked
• Obama let down in the end, takes it in the rear

Ok, maybe this writing thing isn’t as easy as I thought, not to mention there’s nothing like a whole lot of penis innuendo to pick the ladies. I’m still straight, mom, I swear. Also, you should probably never read this site ever again.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, February 4th, 2009 at 9:53 pm and is filed under headlines. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.