John McCain’s reasons for picking Sarah Palin are obvious, but why she accepted is less clear. Turns out, she was swayed by his words. Here’s the poem he wrote to woo her:
Drill, baby, Drill!
Dear Sarah,
I don’t mean to be a creep
But if you’ll be my veep
My approval rating will leap
Plus, your youth will stave off the grim reap.
No price is too steep
I’ll even buy Todd a Jeep
Soon, in the White House you’ll sleep
Telling women about the babies they must keep.
In most ladies, I go for asses
But there’s something about those glasses
They appeal to the masses
And conceal that you’re slow as molasses.
So you don’t believe in evolution
Or know the cause of pollution
You’ll learn the tricks of politics
From a self-named maverick
Pay no regard to the press
Can’t answer a question? Just guess.
I suggest, if under duress
Blame the Dems for this mess.
As a running mate
The public need not think you’re great
Besides, even if you fail
You won’t be worse than Cheney or Quayle.
Please accept this nom
Before my body they embalm
As the kids say, “You’re da bomb”
I want to puck you, hockey mom.
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