In an effort to bolster her platform and rally the conservative base, Palin has declared a Holy War against game designer Will Wright.

Wright, best known for being the brains behind such classic games as The Sims, has recently released the game Spore, in which players are assigned the task of taking a single celled creature and developing the species into more evolved creatures. Palin, a strong advocate of creationism, has not minced words with the game designer.

“Clearly, Spore is just another attempt from the left wing liberals to perverse God’s plan”, said Palin. “Only the Lord could possibly design such wondrous creatures as giant penis monsters or creatures with butts for eyes.” The VP candidate also has comments on Wright’s previous roles in the game world. “This hasn’t been the first time Wright has tried to corrupt our children. Games such as ‘The Sims’ have led children to believe they too can play God with the simple click of a mouse. I can’t confirm, but I have reason to believe Bristol was tricked into conceiving her child after several sessions with the game and her boyfriend”.

There has been some happy medium between the two, though. Says Palin, “The one game I did find amusing was Simcity. It’s fun to actually run a city with a population greater than 9,000! Much cheaper to build these bridges that go to nowhere too. I just wish they would let you build more than 10 oil derricks to each inhabitant”.

Wright only had a short statement to make in response. “Foolish mortals! The hellfire burns with each new copy of Spore that is purchased! Soon, you will all become like the fallen as you learn about the wonders of evolution through point and click play! Learn all the dark secrets of the underworld as your creature sings and dances to make friends with other creatures! Post your own designs on the Sporepedia and give your soul to Lucifer!” With the undying shriek of thousands, the designer then vanished in a sulfuric puff of smoke.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, September 10th, 2008 at 12:31 am and is filed under fake news. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.