McCain must’ve mixed up his meds. It’s the only feasible explanation for his selection of the unknown and inexperienced Sarah Palin, a self-described “hockey mom,” who knows more about forechecking than checks and balances, and admitted she’s as unfamiliar with the daily duties of the vice president as she is with a short winter. Banking on a female from Fairbanks is a bad move. Here are three figures with similar names who would be more suited for the role of VP.
And now for someone completely different…
Michael Palin. The “Holy Grail” of candidates. Intellectual, but has a sense of humor, plus extensive experience in international affairs, authoring seven travel books. Not for expanding government, though would push for the establishment of a Ministry of Silly Walks. Can lie to conservatives and say “The Meaning of Life” is an anti-abortion documentary.
You can bet she’ll have a joke about stuffing her ballot box.
Sarah Silverman. With Joe Lieberman already on McCain’s side, locking up the elderly Jewish vote, she could bring young Jews in. Can convince the religious right that “Jesus is Magic” is a Christian educational film.
She could Carrie McCain to a win.
Sarah Jessica Parker. Not a darkhorse, but very horse-like nonetheless. So long as she stays in character from her famous sitcom, can sway legions of women to flock to her and mindlessly do as she commands. Has the potential to pique the interest of journalists, provided she remains true to the character. Campaign slogan could be: She loves heels. He’s a shoe-in for the job. Opening line for a memorable speech would be, “I couldn’t help but wonder if Obama is a secret Muslim who despises freedom and supports the terrorists.” Let’s hope she doesn’t start referring to McCain as Mr. Big.
Solid as a 30 Rock.
Bonus choice: Tina Fey. Besides being a Palin look-alike, Fey would remain in consistent contact with the public, providing a regular “Weekend Update.” Would have all her political polling conducted by close friend Amy Poehler, for the purposes of punning. Would reduce unemployment slightly by giving lousy former SNL castmembers Jimmy Fallon, Horatio Sanz and Chris Kattan jobs, forming a Cabinet of Crappy Comedy.
