From Bad Boy to burger boy: Diddy loves to sample, but not cheap food.
We’re sure you’ve seen ads for the least plausible endorsement around: Puff Daddy plugging for Burger King. A multimillionaire known to brag about tasting the finest food and drink the world has to offer, pulling up to the window in his chauferred Bentley for a $1.50 burger — that’s a Whopper if we’ve ever heard one. Maybe Notorious B.I.G. could’ve pushed the product believably or any other rotund rapper (Fat Joe, Heavy D, Queen Latifah et alt.).
Here are some other hip hop figures who might be interested in big chains – fast food ones, that is.
Ludacris and KFC. He did name one of his albums “Chicken-n-Beer,” plus he has a fixation with breasts and thighs. And the lyrics from “Stand Up” can easily be reworked to form a commercial jingle, “Eat Up.” Sample: When I chew, you chew, just like that. We’re sure he can find a colorful phrase that rhymes with “bucket.” Slogan: He’s bling, bling. We’re wing, wing.
Southern fried hospitality: Make mine extra Ludacrispy.
Papa John’s and Lil’ John. Does he want a piece of the food endorsement pie? YEAH! Is his language saltier than the toppings? YEAH! Is his gimmick cheesier than a parmesan-ricotta-mozzarella blend? YEAH! A special Crunk crust has grain alcohol baked right into the bread. Also, orders of 2L of soda will come with a set of pimp cumps. Slogan: Papa John’s – Sink your gold teeth into it.
Jon Dough: The only Dominos he likes involves tiles.
Snoop Dogg and McDonald’s. There’s gold to be harvested from those arches. For a franchise as world-famous as McDonald’s, they need a rap icon. Both Snoop and McDonald’s have had a lot of beefs and have coasted by on reputation alone for years. A total urban image makeover is possible for the newly named McDoggald’s, including renaming all items of the menu in Snoop’s slang. Chicken McNizzles, Egg McMizzuffins and customers will have the option of “Doggystyling” their combos, replacing the fries with an ounce of weed and substituting soda for a mixture of gin and juice. Additionally, Grimace will be called Purple Haze and the Hambizzurglar will be celebrated as a hero for stealing. Slogan: I’m lizzovin’ it!
If they can’t land Snoop, McDonald’s next best bet is to go for 90′s nostalgia and recruit Kriss Kross. Who better to sell the Big Mac than the Mac Daddy and Daddy Mac?
Fo’ sizzle, my nizzle: From drive-bys to drive-throughs.
Pitbull and Taco Bell. He’s Latino and foreign dogs have worked well as spokesman for the company in the past. If the up-and-comer wants more ice, he’ll have to sell some rice. The partnership can launch a new line of Crunch Raps. And try the Nach-Yos. Slogan: He barks. You bite. Backup plan: Bow Wow (Slogan: Wow. Tacos.)
Putting the ‘chill’ in “chilli.”
Eminem and White Castle. Both stand out in their industries, with a certain inaccessible mystique surrounding them. Em, who referenced White Castle in his breakout single, “My Name Is,” loves to dress up and he could become the costumed White Knight, atop a white horse, carrying a sack of sliders on his lance to the hungry. Slogan: Don’t get in his grill. Come to ours instead. Alternate: Make it a great night with the White Knight. Backup: Vanilla Ice (Slogan: He’s still around. So are we.)
White hot rage: Like a small patty, he steams easily.
