Today is Canada Day, so here are a few ways we as Americans (whose only experience with Canada is through tv shows, movies, and “witty” internet t-shirts) can celebrate the holiday with our fellow North Americans:
- Start the day with what you think is the Canadian national anthem (“Blame Canada” from the South Park movie)
- Act like America’s little, quiet, much paler brother
- Pretend as though Alex Trebek is the smartest man ever to come from Canada
- Ride a moose to work
- …while dressed as a hockey goalie or a mountie
- Finish each sentence with “eh” or “aboot” for absolutely no reason whatsoever. Try not to laugh. Fail completely
- Renounce Mike Meyers as Canadian (if you’ve seen The Love Guru, you’d agree)
- Go curling. Remember you have no idea what is exactly involved with curling, so look it up on Wikipedia. Get confused by the brooms and “putting the rock in the house”. Run around your neighborhood whacking each other with brooms and throwing stones at your neighbors instead
- Get stoned after completely misinterpreting the maple leaf on Canada’s flag
- Construct plans to live in “a really bitchin’ igloo”
- Fight a polar bear with a harpoon
- Enjoy Canada’s finest cuisine, Canadian bacon covered with maple syrup. Immediately regret it and declare that American bacon kicks so much more ass
December 22nd, 2010 at 10:04 pm
First of all, whoever wrote this is not helping with the American stereotype us Candians.. and most other countries around the world share – that you are uninformed, and blinded by your inability to perceive anything that doesn’t have the word gun, steal, murder, money, or food in it.
Second, I don’t know if this website is some kind of American humour, because I honestly don’t see the connection between Derrida’s work and any of the content on this website.. (including this sad excuse for an American joke)
Why don’t you spend less time trying your very hardest to impress the internet with the most cliche and known Canadian stereotypes, and.. oh I don’t know.. maybe get your ass a job, which might be hard given the turbulent state of the American economy.
eh?
December 22nd, 2010 at 10:08 pm
You are adorable. Perhaps one day you’ll understand sarcasm. In the mean time, I hope you survive the late December polar bear attacks.
P.S.: Thanksgiving is in November.