Bret Michaels prefers his cars the way he likes his women – slightly used and with the top down.
Steroids poster boy Roger Clemens has sold his Bentley convertible to Poison pretty boy Bret Michaels. Wouldn’t the more fitting member of the band to buy the ride from The Rocket be Rikki Rockett? The singer is enjoying the vehicle thus far, having “Nothin’ but a Good Time.”
Down Hill
ESPN columnist Jemele Hill was suspended for a set of shocking and senseless similes comparing Celtics fans to Nazis and communist Russia sympathizers, writing: “Rooting for the Celtics is like saying Hitler was a victim. It’s like hoping Gorbachev would get to the blinking red button before Reagan.” Sounds like Don Imus has found a new co-host.
Fuel me once
The New Jersey Nets, running low on ideas, are offering anyone who signs up for season tickets ten 10 percent of the total price in gas money. The promotion probably isn’t enough to get people pumped, unless they acquire Shaq Diesel.
To air is human
A German journalist covering the Euro soccer Championships called in a bomb threat to avoid missing his flight. Police traced the anonymous call to his cell and now he’s sitting in a cell.
Hand out
If you were hoping to compete in the National Texting Championship, Sry, 2 L8. The finalist have already been chosen and will vie for $50K July 9 in NYC. All you need to contend are a few pointers, so don’t let this opportunity slip through your well-calloused fingers next year.
Hit the deck
A 551-foot boat collided with Brewers announcer Bob Uecker’s yacht in Milwaukee last year. Uecker doesn’t harbor any hard feelings towards the ship’s captain. Sadly, Uecker can’t return his craft, as all sails are final.
Code name
Greensboro College baseball player Daniel Poindexter was the men’s Student-Athlete of the Year in the USA South Conference. He was the smart choice.
Sole power: Maybe this will light a fire under the placid Yao.
Scale model
Yao Ming’s need sneakers from Reebok feature a winding red and gold dragon on the side. Unfortunately, the tongues of the footwear don’t hiss.
