Showing artistic growth
An article in the Albany Times Union accuses several hip hop musicians of being on steroids, including 50 Cent (guess Kanye West was right to devalue him), Mary J. Blige and Wyclef Jean (new nicknames: Mary J. Bulge and Wyclef Jean Claude Van Damme). If 50 Cent wanted to be inflated so badly, he should’ve just gone to Mexico.
Nicole Richie and Joel Madden recently welcomed a baby girl. The infant is reported to lie around the house all day, doing nothing. The precocious tyke is already taking after her mother.
Wesley Snipes is on trial in Florida for tax evasion. He is charged with claiming fraudulent refunds totaling $12 million and failing to file tax returns from 1999 to 2004. His defense is said to be more implausible than the plot for “Blade II.”
Lindsay Lohan has been nominated for nine Razzies, the anti-Oscar awards that point out the worst Hollywood offerings, for her role in “I Know Who Killed Me.” Regardless, she’s signed on for a sequel, “I Know What Killed My Career.”
For her emotional outburst while running for the presidency, scholarly Senator Hillary Clinton made the Howard Dean’s list. Her campaign soundtrack will now be set to Tears for Fears.
Mob mentality
The Dolphins hired Tony Sparano to be their head coach last week. He immediately started wacking people and lobbying to get a cement shoe deal.
Adam “Pacman” Jones is up to his old antics (someone didn’t make a New Year’s Resolution), this time striking a women at an Atlanta gentlemen’s club. Pacman needs to learn how to walka-walka-walka away.
Chow down
Titans coach Jeff Fisher had to cast a new line for an offensive coordinator, after he unexpectedly fired Norm Chow. It seems quarterback Vince Young failed to digest Chow’s schemes.
